Confessions of a Millionaire's Mistress Read online

  We talked for about ten minutes before his flight was called and I began to regret making the meeting so short. As we said our goodbyes I felt very curious about him. The thought of Hugh flashed across my mind for a fleeting moment and it made me smile—maybe this was the distraction I needed. A sudden warmth spread through my heart at the thought that I might just come out of a heartbreaking situation in one piece.

  As David walked away towards the gate I admired the confidence that he exuded. I found myself imagining him as the kind of man who would pick me up and throw me down on the bed before ravishing my body with such sexual skill that I would be taken for the ride of my life—and that excited the hell out of me.

  I watched his muscular body stop in his tracks and spin around to face me. My heart skipped a beat as he rushed back towards me and before I knew it I was imagining what it would be like to kiss him.

  He stopped right in front of me with a furrowed brow, as if he was struggling to find the right words to express whatever it was he was trying to say. I had made up my mind that whatever it was, my answer was yes.

  ‘Can I ask you something? You aren’t Hugh’s girlfriend, are you?’

  In that instant I was hit like a tonne of bricks with reality, and I remembered that he knew Hugh.

  ‘No,’ I answered swiftly but honestly.

  I was immediately grateful that he had to board the plane; I didn’t want David to see behind my mask. I felt my confidence unravel at the mention of Hugh’s name and realised that I was in so deep with Hugh that I really wasn’t ready for anything new.

  After studying my poker face he kissed me on the cheek and left like a gentleman. His broad shoulders tensed as he walked and I found myself in awe of him again. He certainly looked after himself but he had one major downfall . . . he wasn’t Hugh.

  After our first meeting we talked more and more frequently, and I arranged to fly down to meet with him again a week later to discuss the opportunities I had researched about turning his book into a television series. Although I was attracted to David I still wanted to keep things professional.

  The day I was due to fly out Hugh called me; he had found out I was coming to town. I had dreaded the moment because I knew what would come next. When he asked if we could meet for coffee I had no reason to say no. Although we had broken up, I knew we had to be civil. We had a few projects coming up together and I didn’t want any residual tension to get in the way. I needed to see him and find out if he was okay, so I agreed reluctantly. I wasn’t ready to see him face to face but I knew that I couldn’t hide from him forever.

  He insisted on picking me up from the airport, and after I checked into my hotel we went for coffee. We made small talk, avoiding the giant elephant in the room, but I still couldn’t look at him. I struggled to be in his presence let alone discuss anything remotely personal.

  I made an excuse to leave less than an hour later, and it tore my heart in two. He tried to stop me from leaving but the look in my eyes told him to let me go. I wished it wasn’t like this between us, but I couldn’t change the way I felt.

  David and I had agreed to go for a drink that night, and at seven-thirty we met at the bar across from my hotel. I had definitely put a bit of effort into my appearance when getting ready to meet with David, but it was different from last time. I still wanted to make a good impression, but this time I was focused on my job.

  When we arrived the bar was quiet, but it soon filled up with football fans shouting at the TV screen, and we weren’t able to concentrate on our conversation. As we sat there I realised that we had become friends, and deep down I knew that we were never going to be able to work together, despite how much I believed in his book. It was too close to Hugh.

  After an hour and a few glasses of wine I suggested we go back to my suite to watch the game. I didn’t want anything to happen between us but we were getting along really well, so I didn’t want our time together to end just yet.

  When we entered my suite I was suddenly filled with nerves, even though as I sat on the couch and he sat on the bed we merely continued our conversation and watched the match.

  Soon my discomfort began to overwhelm me and I started to play with my hands, no longer able to concentrate on the match.

  ‘You don’t have to be so far away. Come over here; I won’t make a move,’ he said, looking at me with innocent eyes.

  As I made my way over to the bed and sat beside him I could feel our mutual attraction radiate around us. Midway through our conversation I turned to look at him and before I knew it we were kissing.

  It took me by surprise as the heat within my heart rushed through my body with such a force that I felt the lust and desire pumping through my veins, the hunger in our kiss growing until I found myself removing his shirt almost on instinct.

  He took charge and rolled me over, positioning his glorious body above me. I ran my nails down the length of his arms and back, gripping his muscles tightly as I had imagined doing many times before. I lifted my body towards his but he forced me to stay in one place. I was excruciatingly attracted to him.

  I loosened the buckle on his belt and he finally caved, letting me take control. He placed his hands on my waist and began to lift my shirt. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as his bare skin made contact with mine and I stopped what I was doing so abruptly that I felt my entire body recoil.

  He looked into my eyes, searching for answers, but before he could catch a glimpse of the terror that was suddenly consuming me and before I could let it take over completely I began to kiss him again, wishing away the horrible feeling in my gut. Part of me wanted it to be Hugh beneath me, but I couldn’t turn back now.

  That moment of hesitation kept repeating on me as I felt the alcohol course through me and allow me to relax a little. This time it was David’s turn to hesitate as I undid the button to his jeans and set him free . . . and boy was I surprised. He was very well endowed, so much so that I felt excitement mixed with apprehension for what was to come.

  With one swift motion he placed his hands on my shoulders and lifted me off him before climbing off the bed. It was like a slap in the face; reality caught up with me and I felt like a deer staring at headlights as he began to dress.

  ‘What the fuck?’ was all I managed to say as I shook my head in amazement at how quickly everything was happening.

  He turned to look at me sitting on the bed, confused and vulnerable.

  ‘I just can’t do this to you,’ he muttered before grabbing his wallet and walking out of the suite.

  It took me a few moments to realise what had just happened before I climbed off the bed and opened the door to find him standing at the elevator. I repeated my last statement before he turned and looked at me.

  I felt so embarrassed, rejected and confused. I think the anger that flowed out of me was mainly directed at Hugh and how he had let me down, but I couldn’t stop feeling hurt by David’s actions, which amplified my fury.

  ‘Screw you, then!’ I yelled.

  I turned to slam the door but before I could I felt the full force of his hand on the other side as he pushed it open again.

  I stepped back and let it swing open to see him standing there speechless. He looked torn up.

  ‘I can’t do this to you. I’ve made such a bad habit of sleeping with women and never speaking to them again, and I don’t want to do that to you. I won’t do that to you . . . There’s something special about you, Ava.’

  Before I had the chance to respond the doors to the elevator opened and he strode into it, leaving me gobsmacked.

  I didn’t bother to chase after him. I didn’t bother to message him. I just closed the door. I walked back through the suite, picked up my phone and cigarettes and made my way to the rooftop.

  I sat on the deck chairs by the pool overlooking the city in silence and darkness. As recent events replayed in my mind, tears ran down my cheeks. I wasn’t angry with David, I was furious with Hugh. How had I got myself into such a predica
ment and allowed myself to be so messed up over a guy?

  My life had been a lot less complicated before I knew him, yet I knew that there was no undoing what had happened between us. I was in love and it was about time I started accepting that because it wasn’t going away. As I sat and watched the city below me my mind tortured me with the same question over and over: was it too late to get him back?

  #SixteenthConfession

  #COAMMPlaylist

  ‘Dare You to Move’

  Switchfoot

  I stayed in contact with David but we both understood that nothing more could happen between us. I appreciated what he had done and the respect he had shown me, but I don’t think he ever really believed me that I wasn’t with Hugh. David liked us both and realised he didn’t want to get involved in something that could end badly for all of us.

  It was now Hugh I was focused on, and after much thought I sent him a message saying that I wanted to fly back down and meet with him. He seemed excited, which put a smile on my face. It was comforting to think that he seemed to have missed me as much as I missed him, but so much had happened since we had split that I wasn’t sure that I was going to feel the same way when we were face to face. That thought scared me more than I cared to admit—I had invested so much in him already.

  A few days later I made the trip, and throughout the flight I fought with myself over whether I would tell him what had happened with David.

  As always Hugh was waiting eagerly for me when I landed. I climbed into the car and he kissed my cheek, and then kept hold of my hand the entire way to the apartment I had booked. It was clear he was on his best behaviour and was behaving like the perfect gentleman.

  By the time we arrived we had agreed to order in dinner. The ongoing court case was one reason we wanted to avoid going out, but I also wanted to spend time alone with him.

  While he parked the car I checked in, and the moment I crossed the threshold my heart ached. I knew what I wanted but despite all my plans I had no idea how to get it with someone so complicated. Nothing had changed with his circumstances and that riddled me with guilt as I contemplated reprising my role as his mistress . . . if that’s what I was.

  A few minutes later I heard a knock at the door and had to grip the bathroom counter to steady myself to take a deep breath in. There was so much to say, and I had to find exactly the right words.

  As I opened the door Hugh stood there for a few seconds, drinking me in before he bolted towards me, placing his hands firmly on either side of my face and forcing me back a few steps as he crushed my lips against his.

  I heard the door click behind him but I didn’t move an inch. My arms remained by my side. I stood frozen to the spot as he kissed me and tears streamed down my face. He pulled away from me, gently wiping the tears from my cheeks. He placed his head gently in the crook of my neck, pulling me closer to him until I threw my arms around his neck.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Ava,’ he whispered ever so softly in my ear.

  I gripped him tighter, the tears still falling as I responded. ‘Please forgive me.’

  I felt him tense. He released me a little and held me at arm’s length. ‘What do you have to apologise for? It’s my fault—I shouldn’t have got you mixed up in all of this.’

  I turned away from him and reached out to the couch in front of me to steady myself. The knot in my stomach was growing by the minute as I contemplated telling him about my night with David; despite everything Hugh had done, I felt guilty. Hugh was the person who had originally told me about David’s book, and he knew that I had made contact with him about turning the book into a series.

  He moved behind me. ‘Ava?’ he said carefully.

  I forced myself to sit before I passed out or my legs gave way. He slowly sat next to me, keeping his distance.

  ‘Hugh,’ I began. ‘I caught up with David Estrich a few weeks ago and . . . I almost slept with him. I would have if he hadn’t walked out.’ My body trembled and tears filled my eyes but I forced myself to continue. ‘The reason I let it go so far was because I was angry with you, and angry about our situation. I think I was mostly pissed because I felt like I couldn’t do a single thing about it!’

  I saw Hugh’s eyes darken as his face turned to stone. He was quiet for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts before responding. ‘I understand,’ he said through gritted teeth.

  ‘I promise there’s nothing there,’ I said quickly, ‘and I won’t be sleeping with him. It was a moment of weakness and vulnerability. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Ava, this isn’t your fault. I’m angry with myself. I drove you to someone else and I can’t take that back. I don’t want to hurt you,’ he said.

  My phone began to vibrate on the table and as I looked down I saw David’s name flash up. He knew I was in town and had been asking me to catch up all day. Before I could do anything Hugh’s eyes flicked to the phone, and he took a deep breath in.

  I tried to ignore the phone but Hugh continued to stare at it. Eventually I grabbed it to turn it off but he told me not to. I opened the message in front of him but he couldn’t even look at it.

  My bones chilled as I read: David’s text asked me if I would like to see him for dinner. I turned to Hugh, not knowing how to respond and looking to him for answers.

  ‘Do you want me to drive you to meet him?’ he asked.

  I was dumbfounded. ‘No!’ I said sternly.

  ‘Why not?’ he snapped.

  ‘Because I’m here with you, and this is exactly where I want to be,’ I said angrily.

  He studied my face until I couldn’t bear it any longer. I closed the gap between us and knocked him on his back on the sofa, pinning his hands down beside him as I kissed him gently. We linked our fingers and I began to feel the ache of desire return.

  A knock at the door interrupted us, and as I pulled back Hugh jumped up swiftly to answer the door and collected dinner from the waiting attendant. I sat there, sure I looked a total mess.

  As we ate dinner I couldn’t ignore the icy feeling between us, but later as I lay in his arms watching a football game I felt warmth again. I realised in that moment as he yelled at the television that this was what I wanted—simply, to be with Hugh.

  I left him to the game and moved to the bedroom, where I changed into my white lace underwear and black silk nightgown. I stood in the mirror, fluffed my hair and let it fall nicely around my shoulders. I lit some candles and called out to Hugh, asking him to help me with something.

  I stood by the bed as he walked in and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me. My vulnerability and fear of rejection had me shaking a little inside.

  He walked over to me and placed his palm around my chin. I looked into his eyes as I put my hand flat on his chest until he kissed me and lifted me up. He wrapped his arms around my waist while I lifted my legs and encircled his hips. It felt so natural and easy to return his kiss as he laid me down on the bed and hovered over my body. He ran his hands through my hair and briefly stopped kissing me to take in my features.

  I wondered if he was having second thoughts, so I began to unbutton his business shirt before sliding it off his shoulders. His intense gaze stayed on me as he loosened my nightgown, never breaking his concentration as he searched my eyes for my inner thoughts.

  We made love for three hours. Slowly and passionately, never looking away from each other. I felt every breath, every motion, every tingling sensation that erupted as he ran his hands over my body. In those hours I realised how much I loved the man and knew that I had made the right decision—I was right where I belonged.

  As I lay in Hugh’s arms, with him kissing my forehead and running his fingers from my shoulder down to my elbow, I knew that he would have to leave soon. I didn’t want him to go but it was the way things had to be. I knew I would have to say something, to tell him how I felt but I couldn’t do it that night . . . I only knew that if I didn’t do it soon it would break me.

  #SeventeenthConfession

  #CO
AMMPlaylist

  ‘Think Twice’

  Celine Dion

  I left Hugh’s arms feeling even more confused about where I stood with him. I knew what I was doing and what the possible consequences would be but I didn’t care because I had him back in my life.

  Whenever I question myself or my choices in life, I run to the one thing that I am sure of, the one thing that makes me feel safe and loved—and in this case, that something was Hugh. He had taught me so many things and given me so much that even after everything we had been through I could never hate him or shut him out of my life.

  When it came to the questions I had regarding his marriage, I found it harder than ever to even think about what he did when I wasn’t around. I didn’t want to know if he was still with his wife or if he was sleeping with her. It might seem difficult to understand, but I found it too painful to even phrase the thoughts in my head. Nevertheless, these thoughts would creep into my head at unexpected moments, contradicting the positive and happy thoughts I’d had only moments earlier. I was never sure whether I was just reading too much into things or subconsciously sabotaging my own happiness, which I had done many times before.

  Two weeks after our reunion Hugh went to court. I held my breath as I awaited the verdict of one of the biggest media events to take over the country. It was on every channel, in every newspaper—everywhere I went someone was covering the case. I couldn’t escape it. Then came the verdict that shocked the nation: not guilty.

  My heart collapsed within itself when I heard the words. Finally, it was over. I couldn’t wait to speak to him, congratulate him and hug him—until I realised it still didn’t change anything between us . . . did it?

  I called Hugh that night, and as soon as I heard his voice I felt at ease and knew that I was going to be okay.

  ‘How are you?’ I asked cautiously.

  ‘Fucking pissed off. I haven’t had the time to really take it all in, I’ve been in meetings all afternoon with the lawyers and planning our next move. A lot of heads are going to roll for trying to make me the scapegoat for something much bigger. It’s far from over, and I know exactly where I’m starting . . . at the top!’ he spat.