Confessions of a Millionaire's Mistress Read online

  Shaun and I were both too tipsy to drive, and I couldn’t be bothered heading to the hotel, so I went back to his house. We stayed up watching Love Actually in his room, but nothing happened. We had become fast friends but there had never been a connection beyond that. As the film ended I began to regret not seeing Hugh. I was missing him. Tears formed in my eyes but I knew I had to shake off the feelings. I fell asleep next to Shaun in his bed, and woke up hours later, startled by the unfamiliar surroundings. I couldn’t stop thinking about Hugh, so sleep was pretty much out of the question. I just kept staring out the window as the whole night flashed past me. I thought about Hugh and how much I missed him, and the next thing I knew the sun was rising and I was witnessing the most incredible sight I had ever seen. I hadn’t been up and alert at that hour in a long time, and in that sunrise I knew I loved Hugh more than ever . . . and I was determined to make it work at all costs.

  Later that day I finished my next business meeting and had to get on a flight home to be back in time for an important conference call with the team and an overseas client. I still hadn’t contacted Hugh, and just before I boarded I sent him a message to apologise. By the time I arrived home and turned on my phone I had received a text message . . . that chilled me.

  ‘Okay, Ava,’ was all he had responded.

  I felt horrible but I couldn’t do anything to change it. So, I left it. A week later he flew into town but I was away, so we missed another opportunity to talk. The next time I flew into town for business he wasn’t there, and the time after that we planned to meet but I came down with severe stomach cramps and I called to cancel—something I had never done before. He was unimpressed, and angry.

  This was a month of not seeing each other, and I was starting to feel sick about it—but I knew I hadn’t been ready to see him. He called me a week later and asked if I would meet with him while he was in town on business. He sounded completely defeated, but I still couldn’t do it. My head screamed yes but my heart screamed louder. So, I lied and told him I had to fly interstate. My heart told me he knew it wasn’t true.

  We began to message back and forth and he asked me outright if I was avoiding him. I told him honestly that I hadn’t been, but he seemed convinced otherwise. After our messages grew heated I decided I’d had enough. I had to see him, but I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.

  My heart was crushed as I felt my pain finally consume me. I didn’t know what to do. My decision to be his mistress was morally repugnant in my head but I loved him so much I couldn’t see my life without him—and I knew I couldn’t bear to see him with anyone else. I was broken, but I didn’t know how to fix myself.

  I managed to get through the rest of the day going through the motions. I tried to convince myself that I really didn’t want to see him, but all the while I knew I did. I knew that in the next few days he would leave on an overseas trip, and I desperately needed to feel his arms wrapped around me, his lips on mine, I wanted to feel the electric touch that had been missing in the past few months. I needed to reconnect with him.

  That night at home I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Hugh was in town less than twenty-five minutes from me—and I was too scared to see him. I was hurt, I was pissed off and I was so in love . . . what the fuck was I doing?

  I called Hugh and told him I was back from my interstate trip and I wanted to see him. I could feel his relief through the phone, and in turn I was relieved as well.

  ‘Ava, I knew you weren’t going out of town, I knew you were avoiding me. But I knew that in your own time . . . just get here. I’m with a few friends, but . . . we have so much to talk about.’

  I hung up and raced to get ready. I made sure I looked irresistible: I put on my little black dress that had a slip of skin-coloured material underneath so it looked like I was just wearing black lace; I complemented this with my crystal heels, and I looked better than ever. On the inside I was sick, but it was now or never.

  I packed an overnight bag and decided that I would go to him and whatever happened would be on my terms, not his.

  When I arrived at the casino I had no idea what life was about to throw at me next. The question was: was I strong enough to take it?

  #Twenty-fifthConfession

  #COAMMPlaylist

  ‘Everything Has Changed’

  Taylor Swift

  As more time had passed, I had begun to realise that our relationship was starting to morph into something so destructive for both parties; that we were moving further and further apart. The physical distance was an issue, but what scared me more was how much I didn’t know about this man. There had been times when we were together that I questioned things about our relationship, always putting it down to my insecurities in the end, but then he would say or do something that made me realise how much I loved him and in those moments my insecurities would fade away and I knew that I was making the right decision. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I loved Hugh. There was something between us that I couldn’t escape and deep in my heart I didn’t want to.

  Arriving at the casino, I was excited by the prospect of seeing Hugh, but more importantly I was frightened. We had not seen each other since he had confessed that he and his wife were still together, and if I wanted any hope of finding out what this meant, I had to get myself together. One of the things I had learned about Hugh was that if I wanted something I had to come out and say it. If I didn’t, then he would shut down. He hated games, and so I had to find the courage to be honest with him.

  I walked up the cream stone steps and across the marble floors, hearing the familiar click-click of my heels as they hit the floor. My heart pounded and my head swirled. The closer I drew to him the more my skin began to jump with nerves. I made my way through the club and stood in the doorway to the main floor.

  As I surveyed the room I saw dozens of tables and hundreds of patrons laughing, drinking and pissing away money as though it grew on trees. I dialled his number, and when he answered it was as if fate had wanted me to find him.

  ‘Where are you?’ he bellowed sweetly yet desperately as the crowds parted in the middle of the aisle and there he stood, scouring the room.

  I straightened my dress as he made his way towards me. He was still mesmerising, his dark-brown eyes with their golden glint boring through me in an instant. In one swift motion he dodged a passing couple and strode towards me, still on the phone. He was more relaxed and even more disarming than I remembered. It felt like the first time we had met at the hotel. He finally hung up as he reached me and with one rapid movement he flung his arm around the small of my back and pulled me closer to him. I could feel the desperation pouring out of him as he held me there for a few minutes, crushing my airway as I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, ignoring the nosey onlookers. I breathed in the familiar cologne he wore as the fondest of memories came flooding back and I found myself smiling.

  I finally extracted myself from his grip and he grabbed my hand. ‘Never let go,’ he whispered, looking straight into my eyes as he pulled me in line with him and we walked across the main floor to his friends.

  After weaving in and out of the crowded floor full of happy punters, we arrived at a poker table where three people sat concentrating on their hands. Hugh walked up behind one of them and greeted him as Charlie, patting him on the shoulder. The man turned around to face us and Hugh introduced me to Charlie and his wife. Charlie shook my hand while his wife gave me the once-over, obviously sizing me up and not liking what she saw.

  I bit my tongue as she gave me a filthy look. I don’t know what I had done to piss her off but it was clear that there was something about me that she didn’t like. Maybe it was the fact that she sensed something more between Hugh and me, but I couldn’t be certain. At that moment she noticed that Hugh was holding my hand and her jaw dropped. I instinctively tried to pry my hand from his grip, but he merely squeezed my hand tighter. I couldn’t handle her scrutiny any longer and I just wanted t
o leave . . . preferably with Hugh, alone.

  A few minutes later a man approached the table and Hugh, without releasing my hand, introduced me to Shane.

  ‘Lovely to meet you, Ava. Hugh, she’s gorgeous!’ Shane announced as he shook my free hand. I couldn’t help but blush. As Hugh pulled me towards the exit Shane saw his hand clasped around mine—he smiled and winked.

  As we walked down the stairs behind everyone Hugh brought my hand behind me and placed our hands on the small of my back, steadying me as I took each step with tender care, walking as quickly as my heels would allow.

  We found a cab and began to pile in, heading back to the hotel. Hugh climbed in first with his back to me and, still holding my hand, began to pull me towards him, but as I began to step in the glaring wife forcefully pushed me aside and jumped into the cab. As I hit the side of the cab my hand slipped and I was forced to let go of Hugh’s. Shane caught me before I fell any closer to the ground, steadying me with his hands carefully placed around my hips. As I regained composure and thanked Shane I saw the look on Hugh’s face. He was panic stricken, not only for my safety but also because I had let go of his hand and he had no idea why. I had landed in the arms of another, and I smiled as Shane helped me into the cab.

  Everyone else was oblivious to what had just transpired. I sat opposite Hugh, waiting for the same warm smile to creep across his face as the rest of the group laughed and talked the entire way back to the hotel. I felt so out of place as I saw Hugh’s absent expression. He looked out the window in silence with his elbow perched on the window lining and his chin resting peacefully on the back of hand. He was thinking, but about what I had no idea.

  I clutched my bag harder and tried not to let his behaviour get to me. He was blocking everything else out. He knew he was losing me, it was killing him . . . I knew it, I could feel it. I could see the conflict ticking over in his head; he was at a loss as to what to do about us, and he was just as confused as I was.

  The wife had achieved what she had wanted. She was trying to separate us and she had just opened up the gulf again. I looked at her and she narrowed her eyes at me. She had been watching me the entire drive back and before I turned my head away I saw a sadistic smirk cross her face.

  As we arrived I placed my hand on Hugh’s knee and smiled at him. He flinched at my touch before he looked me dead in the eyes. I knew that look: he was in another place, so far away from me and yet so close. I felt the prickle of tears growing in my eyes, but just as I was about to get out of the cab and run Hugh grabbed my hand and squeezed it, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.

  The wife witnessed this exchange and I saw fury building up behind her eyes as her face grew red.

  We all walked into the hotel, but this time I was walking alone while Hugh was up ahead of me with the others. Every time Hugh and I had been in this hotel before we had created incredible memories, the good and the bad had melted together and still made me smile . . . but this time I felt horribly out of place. I needed to get away.

  I turned to leave and ran into a tall, dark and handsome man. I headbutted his chin and ran into his body at full force. He placed his hands on my shoulders to steady me before apologising.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked as I extracted myself from his grip, still swaying from the knock to the head.

  ‘Fine, thanks. Sorry, I have to go,’ I responded before attempting to move around him.

  ‘What’s the rush? Stay for a drink,’ he said with genuine concern.

  I looked up and saw his dark eyes for the first time since the encounter: they were warm and inviting, and they held a smile. His hands felt like ice on my skin but his voice was soothing, and he looked at me with such warmth that I found myself mesmerised.

  As I stared at this man, unable to speak, I sensed something familiar about him. I was sure I had seen him before but I couldn’t quite put my finger on where. I wanted to escape but my curiosity got the better of me.

  He watched me, waiting for a response with a smile plastered across his face.

  ‘I’m okay, thank you,’ I finally said. ‘I really can’t stay, but I have to ask, do I know y—’

  Before I had the chance to finish I heard a familiar voice behind me.

  ‘There you are!’ Hugh called out across the foyer, making his way towards us.

  We both turned to look at Hugh as he reached us. Hugh placed his hand on my back and shook hands with the guy I had run into.

  ‘Nicky, man! Where have you been? . . . Wait, do you two know each other?’ Hugh said with a perplexed look on his face.

  ‘No, actually we haven’t had the pleasure until now. We just ran into each other, literally,’ he replied, looking at me.

  Hugh looked at me too and I smiled. ‘I actually headbutted him,’ I said.

  Nicky grinned and in that moment I realised who he was—one of the best-known people in our industry, who was constantly being reported on for his personal and business affairs.

  ‘Well, come and join us; everyone’s at the bar having drinks.’ We walked through the foyer and into the bar. When we reached the rest of the group I sat on the lounge next to Hugh, all the while feeling Charlie’s wife’s eyes burning into me from across the coffee table where she sat with her husband.

  When the drinks arrived I sipped my white wine with care because I didn’t want to get drunk in front of these people. They were obviously well on the way but I wanted to stay in control.

  As conversation broke out around the table Nicky watched me intensely before opening his mouth to speak. ‘So, what do you do, Ava?’ he asked, smiling again. Suddenly the entire table went silent and they all stared at me. Talk about putting a girl on the spot.

  Calmly and confidently, I responded: ‘PR, actually. I work in the entertainment industry.’

  ‘Ava and I have done a lot of work together,’ Hugh said, beaming at me. I could sense something building up, and I couldn’t help but feel that Hugh was oblivious to it all. These people were his long-time friends and they all seemed to be sizing me up . . . except for Nicky. From what I knew, he was one of Hugh’s oldest and most trusted friends.

  Nicky kept trying to include me in conversations—obviously he could tell that the wife was freezing me out—but I just wanted to disappear. We discussed who my clients were, and Nicky and Shane were engrossed as I rattled off names.

  When Hugh got up to go to the bathroom and was safely out of earshot, the wife addressed me.

  ‘So, Ava, are you and Hugh fucking?’ She spoke blatantly.

  I was speechless. This was exactly what I had been hoping to avoid. I knew she had it in for me, and I had no idea how to answer her question.

  Nicky looked at me, and as much as he looked sorry for me I saw a flicker of curiosity in his eyes. Now I truly felt ganged up on. I didn’t know the wife but it was clear she had an angle, so I decided on the safest route.

  ‘We’re friends, we have been for ages. I’ve worked with him for the past few years,’ I explained carefully.

  ‘Oh, give it up, Ava. Don’t bullshit us. It’s so obvious that you’re screwing each other,’ she spat. Everyone was on the edge of their chair waiting for me to respond, except Nicky, who appeared to have lost interest in the conversation and pointedly looked away.

  I glanced around, unsure of what to say or do, praying that Hugh would return.

  ‘No, really, we’re friends,’ I repeated, sipping my wine and searching for the nearest exit. Before the wife could continue Hugh returned and Nicky announced he was going up to his room. Everything was in slow motion. I needed to get away but I didn’t know how to explain it to Hugh. He would be crushed if I left, the wife would have won and I still wouldn’t have any answers.

  Nicky left and a few minutes later I excused myself. As I headed towards the bathroom I felt someone behind me and realised it was Nicky. I had seen him at the elevators, but suddenly he was outside the bathrooms.

  ‘Ava, are you really not seeing Hugh?’ he said as he appro
ached the door to the men’s room.

  ‘We’re just friends, Nicky,’ I said warily.

  ‘I’m sorry to ask after what you just had to handle, but . . . I’m about to head up and have a nightcap. Would you join me?’ he said, taking a step closer to me and placing his hand on the small of my back.

  ‘I’m actually going to head home, but next time for sure,’ I replied. In a moment of weakness I had hesitated, contemplating taking him up on his offer, but I knew where my heart was and it wasn’t with this gorgeous celebrity.

  ‘Not even one drink?’ he said, smiling. I can’t say that I wasn’t tempted, but I wasn’t in a clear head space. And I really did love Hugh.

  ‘Sorry. I have an early meeting, but next time you’re in town let’s catch up,’ I suggested before stepping away.

  ‘Have a good night, Ava. It was lovely to meet you,’ he said before kissing me lightly on the cheek.

  I turned around and entered the bathroom, where I placed my bag on the counter and stared at my reflection. As I washed my hands I reviewed the night’s events so far . . . and then it hit me.

  I remembered the news reports: Nicky was married with kids. I don’t know if I have something tattooed on my head that attracts married men, but in addition to my feelings for Hugh, I definitely didn’t have the energy to deal with another one.

  The rest of the night was something that I will never forget, as things went from bad to worse in a matter of hours.

  #Twenty-sixthConfession

  #COAMMPlaylist

  ‘Stay With Me’

  Arlene Zelina

  Within an hour of Nicky leaving I could tell that Hugh wanted to be alone with me. His answers became short, and even though he was polite I could tell he was growing irritated that it was getting late and he and I still hadn’t talked. It was clear he had also noticed that the night’s events (little did he know which ones) were testing my patience and that I was getting quieter and quieter as time passed.